Waking to Darkness
by CrystalXanadu
Summary: Heavy Gear fic. Co-written with Sweet Venom, this is the third and final part of the Black Sands Trilogy. Synopsis: It's a long, lonely time out in the Badlands desert when all you have is your memories . . .


Waking to Darkness  
  
by Bluestar and Sweet Venom  
  
Authors' Notes: To make sense of this, we recommend reading 'In Life No Peace, In Death No Release' and 'Ghostly Encounters' first. Oh, and we hope you enjoy our fic!  
  
//italics//  
  
  
  
  
  
Darkness, nothing but pitch darkness. She fell and fell, nothing being able to brace her fall. It seemed as if there was a bottomless pit that was going to swallow her. She tried to hold on to the sides of it, but there weren't any, only emptiness. Was she ever going to hit the floor? What would happen when she did?  
  
  
  
  
  
The impact knocked all the breath out of her. Slowly she straightened up, and as she opened her eyes, she saw a desert scene, littered with remains of human beings and huge heaps of machinery she could not identify.  
  
Where was she? What was she doing here? She knew nothing, the surroundings didn't mean anything to her. And, in fact, she didn't even know who she was.  
  
The dark-haired woman stepped through the battlefield she had fought on just over an hour ago, but she had no recollection of what had happened to her. She saw the bodies of hundreds of humans, but they looked somewhat strange. Though she could remember nobody who she could compare them with, she had the feeling that their skin should have been light pink, not blue.  
  
As she continued her way through the littered metal, she encountered something that seemed oddly familiar. A large maroon object lay before her, it distinctly resembled a human being. It had two legs, two arms, a body and even something that reminded her of a head, yet it must have been about 4-5 meters tall, when standing. A word came to her: Gear. This was a Gear. The woman edged closer. There were letters near the top: J-O-N-I, . . . Joni.  
  
Something stirred inside of her, as if long forgotten memories were creeping towards the surface of her mind.  
  
  
  
  
  
The world seemed to quiver for an instant. She closed her eyes as she felt dizzy watching it. When she lifted her eyelids, her whole surroundings had changed. There were no carcasses, no scorched metal fragments, even the sickening metallic scent of blood had vanished. Instead there were grey concrete buildings, simple, bare walls, but still she felt connected with this place, as if it had once been a home to her.  
  
Suddenly somebody tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around to look into the smiling faces of two young people. One was male, with dark brown hair and fascinating grey eyes.  
  
"Leto," she remembered. The other one was a woman with light brown hair and blue eyes. "Elizabeth."  
  
Leto chuckled. "Hey, you're a little out of it this morning, Mika!"  
  
Mika, that was her name, yes of course it was: Mika Hayakawa, she was a Sergeant of the Northern Guard.  
  
Leto nudged her in the side. "Come on, you've got to see this, you won't believe it! Joni's at it again!"  
  
Together the tree of them trailed around a corner. There somebody standing on a ladder, with a tin of green paint in his one hand, a paintbrush in the other. His blond hair gleamed in the early morning sun, as he tilted his head regarding the letters he had just painted beneath a black and red banner.  
  
This banner had just been hung there the day before, Mika remembered. It showed a panther, the squad's mascot, and in flaming red the words 29th Black Sands Regiment could be made out.  
  
Elizabeth looked up at the young man. "Hey Joni, you can't do that or Pawul will have your head!" she said half joking, half seriously.  
  
"We'll just have to make sure he doesn't catch me, then," the addressed replied with a glint of mischief in his green eyes. "Maybe you should make yourself useful and stand guard now you're here!" Grinning, he returned to his artwork.  
  
Elizabeth frowned. "Hey, sure, now we have to bail you out. If Pawul catches us watching you do it, then we're in just as deep as you are."  
  
Joni didn't halt for a second. "That was the idea behind my plan!"  
  
Leto looked up at his fellow pilot for a second, then returned to scanning the surroundings for their commanding officer. "What are you writing anyway?"  
  
"I felt the banner missed a little something! . . . Ah, done!" With this Joni descended from the ladder, cautiously trying not to spill any paint on his suit. Once he had put the lid on, he looked up at his latest masterpiece. Beneath the neat official banner, in vivid green paint, stood one word in Joni's untidy scrawl: "ODDBALLS".  
  
The others regarded his work, then looked at one another, with identical grins on their faces.  
  
Joni expressed what they were all thinking. "Well, everybody else calls us that, we do, too, so I thought it should be on there."  
  
Leto shook his head in amused disbelief. "Oh man, let's get out of here before anybody sees us!"  
  
  
  
  
  
Then the strange sensation ended. Mika realized she had been staring at the Gear all the time. All of a sudden there was this clutch to her chest. These had been her friends, this was Joni's Cheetah.  
  
Suddenly, she noticed something she could have sworn that hadn't been there just a second ago. It seemed absolutely out of place. To her left there was another Gear, also maroon, but this one didn't seem to be damaged in the slightest. On the contrary, it was even standing. High it towered over her, as she suddenly realized: "That's . . . that's my Gear. My Kodiak!"  
  
How did it get there? Mika stepped towards it carefully. As she reached it, she longed to touch it. The armourplast plating felt cool against her hand. Mika climbed up to the top. With the familiar press of a button she opened the entrance hatch and peered inside. It was dark, but soon her eyes got used to the twilight. Everything looked normal; the cockpit systems displaying the surroundings, the controls awaiting her commands. She slipped into her chair and put on the safety harness.  
  
Now she felt a little more confident. This was something she didn't have to remember. She knew how to pilot this Gear by instinct. She closed the hatch and moved the Gear forward. At last she had something familiar, something she could rely on. But she still couldn't remember: what had they been doing in this dreadful place? She continued her walk through the lonesome battlefield.  
  
She had to find out more.  
  
  
  
  
  
Wandering through the valley, Mika's attention was caught by a shattered hovertank. There was a memory . . . something to do with this hovertank . . .  
  
"We just lost Leto, sir! Cannon blast . . ."  
  
Mika stepped back quickly, away from the tank. That had been Elizabeth's voice . . .  
  
"Carry out your orders!" she heard Pawul bark.  
  
Suddenly, she was back in the battle, reliving it.  
  
Adrenaline made time appear to slow around her. She took aim at a tank, firing two grenades from her autocannon at the CEF war machine. The fire spread through the tank, tearing apart the outer hull.  
  
She even saw the piece of metal coming. It flew towards her Kodiak, its inertia forcing it deep into its side. Mika felt a stab of pain in her side and she cried out. As she looked down she saw that a razor sharp end of the metal fragment that had pierced her side. Blood was oozing from the wound, staining the combat suit. "Argh . . ." The pain was excruciating and wiped all senses black except hearing.  
  
She heard her friends fall one by one, until the darkness came and claimed her.  
  
  
  
  
  
Mika returned to reality. Right, the order. They had been ordered to defend the town of Maribu, but there had so many tanks and GRELs, they had had no chance. And now they were all dead, gone. Pawul, Vicin, Leto, Joni, Elizabeth. It seemed only she had survived. Why had the CEF missed her? She remembered the metal fragment hitting her, but apart from that, all her memories were still blocked by this strange amnesia.  
  
  
  
  
  
That moment, a huge explosion occurred behind her. She spun around. The detonation had come from the direction of Maribu. Now there was thick black smoke rising into the air from where it had been. Huge flames consumed the ruins that were left of the town, Mika could even see their glow from where she stood.  
  
She decided to head towards the town, maybe there was someone in Maribu, somebody who could help her. But she had barely reached the edge of the battle field when she saw a hover vehicle, probably an armoured personnel carrier, judging by its appearance, coming towards her. CEF troops! Mika stood transfixed. They drew nearer and nearer.  
  
Suddenly Mika made up her mind. She was not going to run anymore. She was going to make these cowards stop and tell her what exactly had happened. She could hear their com-contact. Several voices on the transport were talking.  
  
That vehicle was no match for her Gear, and Mika knew it. She stood and waited for it.  
  
The pilots hadn't seen her yet, their conversation was proof of that. One man said, "Damn Novans, didn't leave anything behind, they musta gotten wind of our attack."  
  
Another answered, "What were we sent here for, anyway. Nobody left to transport back, nothing salvageable, either. It was my first day off for over a month. They had to go spoil it."  
  
"Yeah, right. I wanna get off this stinkin' planet anyway!"  
  
The APC was now only a few hundred metres away. Mika stood clearly visible, but still there was no change in the pilot's attitudes.  
  
"What are you guys thinking?" Mika mumbled to herself. "Are you blind, or just plain stupid?"  
  
They still drew nearer, when a disturbance showed itself in their com- signal. It was a steady frizzle, getting worse and worse the nearer they came. Even the pilots noticed.  
  
"Hey, Bob, what's up with the radio?"  
  
"No idea, but we just lost contact with base."  
  
"Ah, scrap! Don't mind, we'll get it fixed when we get back. Hey, how's your son . . ."  
  
Mika was totally furious by now. Why were they ignoring her? They were still coming closer, only meters away. She finally lost her temper and jumped right in the middle of their path.  
  
"Right, you two. I've got a loaded gun, and I'm not afraid to use it!" she barked into the microphone.  
  
What happened then nearly made Mika fall over from shock. The APC drew so near that it should have bumped right into her, but instead it passed right through her. The sensation was so strange. She saw the bulk of the vehicle penetrate her Gear's torso and watched as is passed out the other side. It felt as if an icy-cold breeze had just swept over her, and yet, it wasn't anything she would have been able to describe.  
  
Bob was not impressed by the slightest. He continued telling his friend how his son had won his team's football match a month ago. They hadn't noticed!  
  
Mika touched her legs, and the controls in front of her, pounded her feet on the ground. Everything seemed perfectly solid. Numb with shock, she watched the vehicle drive away.  
  
As Mika spoke, it was more to prove to herself that she still existed than to communicate with someone. She stumbled. "I- I'm . . ." Suddenly the truth hit her. "I'm dead!" she whispered disbelieveingly.  
  
When darkness fell Mika still hadn't moved an inch.  
  
  
  
  
  
As night settled around her, Mika finally shifted position. She half- turned, Vicin's battered Hunter coming into view. Vi could have fixed that radio, she thought numbly. He always helped repair everyone's Gears. She closed her eyes, trying to push aside the memory that was creeping its way to the surface, but it came anyway.  
  
  
  
  
  
Vicin had been working in the small room, which he proudly called his laboratory, the whole day. With deep satisfaction he watched what now looked like some sort of very complicated jigsaw puzzle starting to resemble the modulator it was. Vicin connected a cable to the main board and checked if it had connected properly. He tried hard not to breathe, as the electrical layout was in a very delicate state at the moment. One wrong move and three weeks of assembly time would be down the drain.  
  
Vicin was dying to fix this little device to his Gear, it would far improve the scanning accuracy. He flinched as spark jumped from one of the connections. Just two more little back up relays and I'm done, he thought. Vicin turned to fetch a screw to fix the relays to the board but had to notice he had just run out.  
  
"Drat," he said and left through the door for the supplies room. In his concentration Vicin hadn't noticed that somebody had slipped into the room. Joni, who was feeling that things were going way to quietly, was looking for someone to play a prank on. He smiled as he went to regard his teammate's latest invention.  
  
"So this is what you've been doing, ey?"  
  
Intrigued, Joni picked up the tiny box. That moment, the door re-opened and Vicin stepped back inside. His eyes opened wide in horror as he saw Joni holding his precious work.  
  
"Joni, you put that down right now!" he said, eyes still fixed on the modulator.  
  
Joni started, but then grinned at Vicin. Mischievously he said, "Oh, come on Vi, what are you so worked up about?" Joni threw the half-finished device into the air and caught it again. Vicin thought his heart would stop.  
  
"Put it down, I haven't got the voltage right yet, it's really sensitive!"  
  
Joni just grinned again. "OK, OK!"  
  
Vicin had just started to say, "Carefully!" when it exploded with a bang and the room was suddenly engulfed with black smoke.  
  
  
  
  
  
Mika was just giving her Gear a thorough systems check when a shout echoed across the Gear hangar. Joni was running at high speed away from Vicin, towards her. The young pilot's face was covered in soot, and it didn't take much to figure out that one of his practical jokes had backfired again.  
  
"IF YOU COME ANYWHERE NEAR MY LAB AGAIN TODAY . . ."  
  
Joni collapsed, panting, behind the Kodiak.  
  
"Why is he so mad at you?" Mika asked.  
  
Joni explained to her.  
  
"It blew up?"  
  
He nodded, still breathing hard.  
  
"No wonder he got annoyed."  
  
"Annoyed? He chased me all around the training centre."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Mika had been in the main hall of Northern HQ many times before, but never quite like this. This was the place where she had graduated from the Academy. This was where she had first heard of the invasion of the CEF forces. That thought forcibly pulled her mind back to the reason she was here.  
  
This was the memorial service for the Oddballs. It was strange to think that she was attending her own memorial. It still didn't feel real to her.  
  
Her attention was caught by Colonel Acklan clearing his throat. "Words cannot express how much sorrow I feel at the loss of the 29th Black Sands regiment. Lieutenant Pawul and his squad were some of the finest pilots I knew, and I am sure everybody here feels their loss deeply. Had we but known how much of the CEF's army would be sent against the town of Maribu, perhaps things would have been done differently.  
  
"The 29th acquitted themselves honourably in the face of overwhelming odds. Their valour saved the lives of the people of Maribu. The full regiment will be given posthumous commendations."  
  
"How will that help them - us - now?" Mika wondered. She almost couldn't accept the fact that she didn't belong in this world anymore. The colonel continued, and Mika listened to the polished phrases that, despite the words Acklan had said before, displayed no apparent regret.  
  
"And now let us remember those valiant pilots. Lieutenant Christopher Pawul. Sergeant Elizabeth Moragan. Sergeant Mika Hayakawa. Leto Chavell. Vicin Kariatin. And Joni Doyle."  
  
So quickly, it seemed, it ended. As Acklan's curt "Dismissed," rang through the hall and people started to filter outside into the sunshine, she approached the banner on the wall. Simple red letters against a black background declared that it was the banner of the 29th Black Sands regiment.  
  
"Why am I the only one left? Tell me," she pleaded, but no answer was forthcoming. But she did find that she could - finally - weep.  
  
Through the blur, she saw one person with an orange and yellow flame symbol on their uniform leaving the hall. I know that symbol, she thought. Flame - no, fire. The . . . Wildfires. That recollection brought back another set of memories, and the flame symbol was the only thing that stayed where it was as the room around her shifted to become that of her memory.  
  
  
  
  
  
Mika wondered to herself whose bright idea it had been to meld the Black Sands with the Wildfires for a week of training exercises. The other team, a more 'traditional' squad, had treated the Oddballs as if they weren't even there half the time. And when the Oddballs had beaten them on accuracy during a target practice exercise . . . well, that had really turned the Wildfires sour.  
  
The two teams were currently sat in the Wildfires' mess hall, and the Wildfires were being their usual arrogant selves. Mika looked around as Rev, a tall, heavyset man who did most of the talking for them, asked, "Yo, Hayakawa. How come you got assigned a Kodiak?"  
  
"I wasn't always in the Black Sands," she replied coolly, making no effort to hide her dislike. "I kept it when I was transferred."  
  
"Yeah, that's right." Rev sniggered. "But as for Vicin over here - I guess even that battered old Hunter would be an improvement over working a garbage Gear!"  
  
The Wildfires all found this extremely amusing. The Oddballs, needless to say, did not. Criticising a pilot's Gear was the worst kind of insult. This was //personal.//  
  
Elizabeth slowly stood up. "I hope you didn't mean that, Rev."  
  
The large man towered over Elizabeth. "Oh, I mean exactly that. Why? Are you going to hit me?"  
  
"In or out of my Gear, I'm still this team's Duelist. And you just insulted the Black Sand's honour."  
  
"The honour of the Black Sands. That's a joke. And you want to take this outside?" Rev sneered.  
  
"Why waste time?"  
  
Moments later, Rev had doubled over, winded from a blow to the stomach and both teams were on their feet in the time-honoured choreography of a good brawl. Elizabeth dodged Rev's return punch as the two squads gleefully abandoned the uneasy truce they had been working under.  
  
Leto slammed the heel of his hand into one Wildfire's nose as another flew past. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Mika loose a flying kick at a fourth. As his adversary shoved him backwards, he was reminded he had a fight to finish.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Who started it?"  
  
Pawul was fuming as he paced before the line of pilots. The Oddballs had given as good as they got, and they were all somewhat bruised. Joni in particular was sporting a spectacular black eye where he had been elbowed in the face by his opponent.  
  
"Tell me. Who started it?" He stopped in front of Mika. "It was you, Sergeant, wasn't it?"  
  
"No, sir!"  
  
"Then who was it? I'm waiting."  
  
The Oddballs were uniformly silent on this subject.  
  
"Just look at you! I'm ashamed to call you my team. We don't need the CEF to take down the Northern army: the squads can take care of that perfectly well by themselves.  
  
"I can't believe you couldn't go one night without getting into an argument with the other squad. One pilot acquired a broken nose from someone," Leto attempted to suppress a smile, "and two others ended up in the ward." Mika tried, and failed, to look innocent.  
  
"Another says that Vicin, of all people, half-strangled him. I'll leave exactly who started it for later. What I'd like to know now is why this dratted fight started."  
  
The Oddballs, trained soldiers that they were, shuffled uneasily like a group of schoolchildren being told off by a teacher. "They insulted the squad's honour, sir," Elizabeth said at last.  
  
"I see." Pawul allowed them to squirm a little more. Inside, though, he was proud that his squad would get into a fight rather than let their honour be insulted. "You know, in your place . . . I would have done exactly the same. You did the right thing."  
  
Relieved grins broke out on the Oddballs' faces.  
  
"But," Pawul added, "I can't let this go unreported." Seeing the disappointment in his squad's eyes, he wished he could tell them how proud he was of his unconventional team.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The hum of machinery roused Mika from her memories. She saw a transport land, saw two people emerge from it.  
  
How long had it been? In the heart of the Badlands desert, time had little meaning for one who was no longer subject to its passing. It must have been a long time - the one she had known as Colonel Acklan was visibly older. His face had acquired even more lines, and his hair was snowy white. And if his appearance wasn't sufficient proof, the young girl by his side would have been more than enough. She had cool blue eyes, short black hair and even paler skin than her own.  
  
Mika watched, as always.  
  
  
  
  
  
Magnilda Rika shaded her eyes as she stepped out of the transport onto the desert floor. Although it was nearly sunset, the reddening light still blazed into her eyes. Behind her, she heard her grandfather's slow footsteps as he moved up beside her.  
  
"Tell me, what can you see?" he inquired.  
  
She scanned the area carefully. "An old battlefield. The remains of . . . six Gears and five tanks."  
  
"Do you know what I see?" Acklan asked. Without waiting for an answer, he continued. "I see a Gear squad I personally ordered to defend that city you can see in the distance. It was our main observation post. They held back the CEF while we evacuated it."  
  
"But that city has been destroyed. They can't have done a very good job."  
  
"And at fourteen cycles old, you of course know everything there is to be known," the ex-colonel said. It seemed to Magnilda that he wasn't seeing the scene in from of them. Instead, there was a faraway look in his eyes as the echoes of an old memory took its place. "The CEF committed sixteen hovertanks and three legions of GREL infantry to the assault. I promised the squad's commanding officer that there would only be one tank. Maybe some light infantry."  
  
"But why, Grandfather? Why lie to them like that?"  
  
"Because, Magnilda, promises mean nothing. Victory means everything. The CEF didn't know how valuable Maribu was, and I intended on keeping it that way."  
  
"So . . . you sacrificed them to make the CEF think that Maribu wasn't worth anything. Six lives for several thousand. Simple mathematics."  
  
Acklan nodded, pleased. "Good girl. Your parents and your grandmother never understood that. I think you do."  
  
"It was ten years ago. I can barely remember them," she shrugged. Her mother and father, along with her grandfather's wife, had been killed in a CEF attack on Valeria when she was four cycles old. She couldn't even remember their faces.  
  
Acklan sighed. "No, I suppose you wouldn't. Come on, let's go home. It will be dark soon. We can play another chess game if you'd like," he added.  
  
"Okay." Magnilda smiled. "I like pretending to be a commander, just like you. That's what I want to be," she informed him as the hatch closed.  
  
Mika was perhaps the only person who heard him mutter, "No, you don't."  
  
  
  
  
  
Right then, however, Mika wasn't thinking about Magnilda Rika's career plans. Instead, she was furious. Acklan had KNOWN what the Oddballs would be facing. He'd deliberately lied to them. Simple mathematics, the girl had said. She stalked agitatedly through the familiar wrecks, wishing that somehow her Gear's weapons systems were operational so that she could give vent to her feelings. But her Gear was as insubstantial as she was, locked in a world she could no longer touch.  
  
"Simple mathematics," Mika said aloud, knowing there was no-one to hear her.  
  
The sun set, covering the desert in darkness.  
  
  
  
  
  
Darkness is the time of day many humans fear. It has inspired many writers to horrific tales, that awaken the most ancient fear of all: the fear of death! Mika no longer feared death, but cursed it. Even now, as the shadows fell on the Gear cemetery it brought back even more memories . . .  
  
"This is disgusting!" Elizabeth proclaimed and threw her fork down onto the table. With a loud clatter it hit the metal surface; her squadmates looked at her with silent agreement. Joni winked at her.  
  
"Oh, if you hold your breath and get your tastebuds removed it's not that bad! It's got this certain swamp rat flavour ..."  
  
Vicin wrinkled his nose, but continued trying to spear a piece of meat from his bowl.  
  
"Joni, I'm trying to eat this! But it's no good complaining, anyway. You can't change what comes from the kitchen."  
  
"Even if we had a reasonable cook, he couldn't do any better than this. The regiment's hardly getting anything eatable. Food shortage!" Mika added with a bitter sigh.  
  
Leto shook his head. " And I know where the decent rations are going: to the other squads, that are less . . . like us."  
  
The five pilots gathered around the table let their heads hang low. It was true, the Oddballs were always the last to receive supplies: hardly any spare parts, and even their regiment's food rations were considerably smaller than the other's.  
  
Joni closely examined the contents of his bowl. He scooped out a spoonful, then let it dribble back down. "I wonder what this green stuff in the stew is?"  
  
Mika frowned. "I don't even want to know!"  
  
Then Leto followed Elizabeth's lead and discarded his spoon.  
  
"Ok, That's enough of that. Another one of these so-called "Black Sands Stews" and I'm gonna be sick!" Hardly anything could make Leto lose his temper. The others stared at him in amazement. They had hardly ever seen him this way. Something told them he had a plan.  
  
Uncertainly they set down their bowls, too.  
  
"Well, what do you wanna do?" Elizabeth asked and a conspirative smile appeared on Leto's face . . .  
  
  
  
  
  
"Oh, no, you're not going to do this, not in my kitchen!" the company cook said. Hank was a massive muscle-packed man and was most inconveniently standing in the kitchen doorway. The Oddballs all stood in front of him, laden with various boxes and bags. Unfortunately, Hank did not look like he was going to let them through.  
  
"Oh, come on mate, we won't be long!" Joni pleaded.  
  
"No way! I'm not gonna get in trouble - again - because of you five!"  
  
"We promise, Pawul will never know!" said Elizabeth and tried to look as charming as she could. It was general knowledge that the chef had a thing for her. Hank turned distinctly red, but then shook his head.  
  
"Sorry guys, I won't be a telltale, but I can't help you."  
  
Disappointed, the Oddballs turned around. Mika lead the squad down the corridor. Sadly she eyed the contents of the box she was carrying. "Hey, we have the grub, but where are we gonna cook it?"  
  
Vicin's face was dead serious. "I knew it, we never should have risked it, now our money is gone, we got in danger of getting caught, and now we don't even have anything to eat!"  
  
Joni threw an unappreciative look at Vicin. "Hey, don't be so negative, we're gonna have our feast, even if we cook it on a camp fire!" Joni had only suggested this as a joke to lighten the mood, but had more success than he had expected. Leto actually dropped his box and stared at his friend.  
  
"You're a total genius, you know!"  
  
Together the squad ran down the corridor, all except the astounded Joni, who was still startled. Quietly he said to himself: "I am? Guess I can live with that!"  
  
Then he followed his mates.  
  
  
  
  
  
About two hours later, the light of day was slowly fading and the five Gear pilots sat around a blazing campfire. As the darkness came upon them, they were all thankful for the warm shine of the flames. A variety of empty pots that Elizabeth and a reluctant Vicin had "borrowed" from the supplies room lay forgotten at the side. The now very full but content squad were now spearing up marshmallows on twigs and roasting them at the open fire. All were feeling full and lazy.  
  
"Ah that hit the spot!" Mika sighed and stared at the red setting sun.  
  
"Yeah, it was definitely worth it!" Joni agreed. "Leto, where in Terra Nova did you learn to cook like that?"  
  
Leto smiled and rolled onto his stomach. "Hey back home, I was used to helping out, with three small brothers and both parents working all day, somebody had to do it."  
  
Elizabeth nudged him in the side. "Good for us."  
  
Even Vicin agreed. "Yeah, way to go, but if I eat another bite, I won't fit into my Gear. But I still don't think the Lt. would approve of us buying on the black market . . ." This remark earned him a dirty look from his squadmates. ". . . but I'd do it again anytime!" he hastily added.  
  
They rolled onto their backs and watched as the first stars appeared at the dark blue sky. Joni pulled out a small self-made trideo receiver and they all listened to the evening broadcast. Suddenly the music stopped:  
  
"WE INTERRUPT THE REGULAR PROGRAMME FOR A SPECIAL UPDATE! CEF TROOPS HAVE JUST ATTACKED THE TOWN OF KALIREN ON THE EDGE OF THE BADLANDS, CASULATY REPORTS INDICATE A LOSS OF AT LEAST SIXTY CIVILLIANS, AMONG THEM MANY WOMEN AND CHILDREN. WE WILL KEEP YOU UP TO DATE AS SOON AS WE GET FURTHER INFORMATION . . ." Joni switched off the radio.  
  
"Damn, not again!" Elizabeth growled. "Those monsters don't even care who gets in their way!"  
  
Vicin stared into the flames, his eyes seemed empty.  
  
"And if you think of the reports of the last few days, they're not gonna stop. This week, they attacked five command posts and three civilian cities. They destroyed all of them. They didn't leave one survivor."  
  
Leto nodded silently, but then added, "Things are definitely looking grim."  
  
Mika hit the ground with her fist. "And we can't do a damned thing! How can I live with the fact that so many people died today, while we sat around roasting marshmallows!"  
  
A crack from the fireplace made them all jump. It was slowly dying down, but none felt motivated to fetch some more wood.  
  
Joni sighed: "Guys, at this rate, they're gonna win the war. Then nobody will be safe."  
  
Leto took a deep breath. The red glow enlightened his face, but it didn't scare all of the shadows away. As he struggled to find the right words, he looked into his teammates' eyes.  
  
"Even though things are bad, today, we can't give up. We can't just go hide in a cupboard and hope they'll go away, 'cause they won't. They're nothing but human, too. Don't let it get to you. And remember, night is always darkest before the dawn."  
  
Silence. Nobody could say anything. Motionless they remained and watched the last red vanish from the campfire.  
  
  
  
  
  
Mika's attention returned to the present. She looked at the melted mass of metal that had once been Leto's Gear as his words still echoed in her mind. "Night is always darkest before the dawn!" Mika huffed. Yeah, right. As if. When Leto said that, he had no idea how dark it could really get. Mika didn't believe him anymore.  
  
"To hell with him," she thought, "if he isn't already there." But the next second she already regretted it. Nobody deserved that. And if there even was such a thing, Mika felt, it must have been pretty much like this. Sadly she turned to walk through the wrecks.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Long cycles passed, Mika spent her time caught in the memories of her long lost friends, and still being alone. The scenery remained unchanged, only the wrecks of the tanks and Gears were acquiring more and more corrosion as the hot mirthless sun burnt down on them.  
  
Mika had hardly noticed anything. Rarely something aroused her from her memories, sometimes a convoy would pass by and Mika would watch it. But when she drew near enough to hear their communication, then her presence would affect the function of their radios and other technology, and after a while, she even stayed clear of these occasional visitors.  
  
But several cycles later, the peace was shattered by an explosion that tore Pawul's Jaguar apart. Mika woke from her daydream with a start. Breathlessly she watched a Southern Gear, with red paint job and a large yellow 01 painted across the torso raising his arm in victory, when a truck appeared.  
  
"Marcus! You can't keep using those wrecks for target practice when I want to salvage their parts."  
  
"Aw, come on. I was just digging it out for you, Greco," the Gear pilot said jokingly. He still sounded quite young.  
  
"Next time, use a shovel?" the truck driver suggested with resigned patience. "Now go see if you can save anything from it and I'll check the other wrecks in the valley."  
  
"Sure thing." Marcus zoomed away as Greco drove off in a new direction.  
  
Mika had seen too many people who treated the Gears as if they hadn't once been piloted by living human beings to be annoyed at their attitude, but she was interested, as she hadn't seen a Gear in a long time.  
  
As she watched the truck drive out of sight, her eye was caught by a flash from a cliff above. Mika could make out two Gears. One pointed in the direction Greco's truck had taken, then the two walked off.  
  
  
  
  
  
Mika watched Marcus walk up to another wreck, having found nothing salvageable in the melted scrap that Pawul's Jaguar now was. Picking up Elizabeth's yellow and blue arm, he checked it and then discarded it. Then he found the Jaguar's intact head assembly and lifted it above his head.  
  
"Boom Boom Boom! Heavy Gear ace Marcus Steven Rover dismantles the competition!" He imitated the sound of a cheering crowd, waving the severed head assembly like a trophy.  
  
His screen lit up with an image of his uncle. "Marcus!"  
  
"What's going on?" the Gear pilot demanded, instantly forgetting his make- believe win.  
  
"Hurry! I need your help!" pleaded Greco's image.  
  
"Greco?" Marcus asked as the screen fritzed out. "Greco?" Receiving no answer, he grimly said, "On my way."  
  
He dropped the Jaguar's head and skated off again on SMS mode, leaving behind the dusty battlefield. Mika saw no point in following him, what was it to her? She couldn't do anything anyway. It was none of her business. Mika took a step towards Elizabeth's former Jaguar. She stretched out the insubstantial hand of her Kodiak until it barely touched the arm. Mika didn't fight the upcoming memory.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Mail call!" came Joni's voice from the main hall. Pawul, on hearing this call, had been known to climb bookcases to avoid the stampede.  
  
Pilots and staff alike thundered down to the front hall. Variations on "Hey, man, anything for me?" filled the suddenly too-cramped hallway.  
  
"Yeah, yeah . . . Elizabeth, here's one for you . . . Vi, this parcel's yours, I think it's the part you ordered . . . Leto, what on Terra Nova did your mother send you this time?! . . . this looks like official stuff for the lieutenant . . . Hey Mika, this is yours . . ." Joni handed out letters and parcels as fast as he could.  
  
"Hey, isn't there anything else for me?" Elizabeth asked. "My brother usually sends me a letter too."  
  
Joni checked the mail bag as the others headed off in different directions in order to read their letters. "Nope, that's it. Sorry."  
  
Elizabeth shrugged. "It's OK. Just weird."  
  
  
  
  
  
In her quarters, Elizabeth opened the letter Joni had handed her. It was from her mother.  
  
  
  
  
  
//Dear Elizabeth,  
  
I don't know how to tell you this . . .//  
  
  
  
  
  
Mika poked her head into Vicin's workshop. The clanking of machinery and squeal of stressed metal filled her ears as acrid smoke obscured her vision. She had to shout to be heard over the noise. "Vi, have you seen Elizabeth anywhere? I've looked all over the base, but she's nowhere to be found."  
  
The noises stopped briefly as Vicin switched the power off and removed his protective ear mufflers. "What was that again?"  
  
Mika repeated her question.  
  
"No, I haven't seen her around since the mail came. Come to think of it, she wasn't at lunch either."  
  
"Thanks." Vicin resumed work as Mika departed.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Elizabeth?" No answer came as Mika rapped on her door. "C'mon, girl, I know you're in there."  
  
Silence was her only answer.  
  
"Elizabeth, if you don't open the door right now I'm going to get my Gear and kick down the wall."  
  
This teasing threat seemed to work as the door opened. A red-eyed Elizabeth was stood behind it, holding the letter in one hand. "Come in."  
  
As soon as the door was closed behind her, Mika said simply, "Tell me what's wrong."  
  
"Do you remember my brother, Matt?" Elizabeth asked her instead. "You met him once, on my last leave."  
  
Mika recalled the day Matt had turned up at the base. It had been easy to see that they were related. Both siblings had the same light brown hair, the same blue-grey eyes and the same impulsiveness.  
  
"My mother just sent me this letter." Elizabeth handed it to her friend.  
  
Mika read the message, absorbing the impact of the words Elizabeth's mother had written. When she reached the end of the letter, she looked up at her friend.  
  
She was surprised to see tears standing in Elizabeth's eyes. "I can't believe he's dead. Such a stupid accident." Her voice broke, and she sobbed. Pressed her knuckles to her mouth, eyes wide and appalled. Soldiers don't cry. Soldiers are tough, detached, always in control.  
  
Yeah, right. Bottling up trauma didn't help anyone, and Mika knew it. She comforted Elizabeth as best she could, giving her a shoulder to cry on. "Shhh, baby, shh," she soothed. Suddenly, Mika had an idea. "What if I tell you a story?"  
  
"A story?"  
  
"Mm-hm. It's one my dad told me when I was little."  
  
And Mika began.  
  
  
  
  
  
With Elizabeth now fast asleep, Mika looked out of the window and into the shadowy night that had fallen on the training centre. Suddenly, in a way that almost reminded her of the way mortal dreams had worked, the blackness outside the window resolved into an unbroken image on her Gear's viewscreen. Somehow, it seemed even darker now.  
  
//Elizabeth, I miss you,// she thought. So alone, for so long . . .  
  
She almost didn't register the tiny pinpricks of light heading towards her. Six beams of light spearing through the gloom, almost like . . .  
  
// . . . Gear headlights?/ she thought. /Could it really be Gears?//  
  
As the lights drew closer to her position, she could make a positive identification. Three Gears, probably Southern. Yes, a Rattlesnake, a Desert Jäger and one that wasn't like any Gear that she had ever seen. She could hear their communications. Something about a training exercise.  
  
As she listened, her attention was drawn back to the Rattlesnake. She'd always wanted to try that model, but there was no chance of that now. No matter, the pilot in her envied whoever controlled this Gear.  
  
Two of the Southern Gears took shelter behind the remains of a CEF tank as three more sets of lights rolled towards the old battlefield. Mika watched as the exercise unfolded.  
  
  
  
  
  
As the Rattlesnake pilot rounded Leto's Grizzly, he stopped for a moment. The omnicamera of his Gear seemed at be looking . . .  
  
//At me? He can see me?//  
  
Impulsively, she opened her Gear's hatch. Hope stirred in Mika's heart as she saw the Southern pilot - the one his teammates had called Tachi - look straight at her.  
  
//He can see me.//  
  
The leader of their team brought his attention back to the exercise. He sounded strangely familiar, but where from? Determined to find out, she walked between two of the new Gears to get to their hiding place.  
  
Tachi was still watching her. She turned around to smile at him. At that instant, their headlights blazed up. //Oops, not again,// she thought.  
  
The two pilots the others in their squad had called Dirx and Sebastian opened fire with their paint guns. Soon the first three pilots were 'down'.  
  
"Good going, Dragons," Marcus said. "Let's get back to base for debriefing."  
  
"Roger that, bro," came Zerve's voice.  
  
"Yeah, then maybe we can get some sleep," Dirx agreed, trying without success to stifle a yawn. As the Dragons turned to head back across the desert, even Tachi didn't notice that they had picked up an extra pilot.  
  
Mika smiled. She wasn't all alone now. And somehow, the darkness didn't seem so bad anymore.  
  
Maybe Leto had been right after all. 


End file.
